Bottlecap Sand Wedge!

Yesterday my day started with crappiness. I went to Burger King for some tasty breakfast. I ordered a cheesy bacon wrap, and as soon as I removed it from the wrapper, a huge blob of greasy cheese fell directly onto my shirt. Upon arriving at work, I went to the bathroom to try and wash off the grease. I had no luck, and was forced to spend half the day looking like a complete idiot with a big grease stain on his shirt. At lunch time, I went home and changed my shirt. I don’t think anyone noticed. Oh well.

It’s funny that I went home, because yesterday was the day of my big work potluck picnic. I’m generally a social kind of guy, but when it comes to work I just desperately crave a break. Rather than hang out with coworkers over lunch, I grabbed some picnic food to go and headed home.

Around 4:00 PM, Kristian and I decided to go golfing. The problem with this idea was that it was 4:00 PM and we had no tee time. I called the golf course that we normally play at, and they couldn’t get us on until 8:00 PM. I took it…after all, this week is like the longest nights of the year.

Kerry and Gwen rolled over with us and hung out with Megan while Kristian and I hit the links. The place was absolutely packed, and when we finally teed off on the first hole at about 8:10, the sprinklers were on. This made for an interesting tee shot by me, which was (of course) magnetically drawn directly to the sprinkler. I managed to time it perfectly and not get wet.

Due to the inclusion of smuggled 16 oz plastic bottles of beer, our game started to get really interesting rather quickly. By hole number 6, we had decided that for the rest of the game, we couldn’t use a tee. Instead, we had to hit the ball from a plastic bottle cap (from the aforementioned 16 oz plastic beer bottles). On my first drive from bottlecap, I landed on the green. It was awesome.

By hole number seven, it was starting to get really dark. The bottlecap rule still stood, but now I challenged Kristian further and told him that he had to drive with my sand wedge. He hit it perfectly…it went about a thousand feet straight up and landed about 25 feet in front of us. I had a wonderful bottlecap drive with my 9-iron.

On hole number 8 I decided to join in the sand wedge fun. Kristian repeated his previous drive, very high, straight, and about as far as a sand wedge is supposed to go. I whacked the ball with the blade of the wedge and ended up shooting over the green. I laughed heartily. If you can’t be good, be lucky.

By the ninth hole, it was completely dark. We could just barely make out where the pin was. We both took to the tee box at the same time and fired (from bottlecap). I did not do well, but was still on in two. I then capped the night wonderfully by sinking a 20 ft. putt for par. I didn’t keep score, but I know that I played a very good game (especially compared against the other times that I’ve gone out lately).

Weekend Update!

The weekend was wild and crazy, but based on how long ago my last entry took place I need to go back to before that. Let’s start with last Wednesday and work our way forward in time to the delightful present.

Wednesday night Kerry and I went out for a lovely date. We started with dinner at the Sample Room in Northeast Minneapolis. The food is good there, but the thing that I always forget is that it’s overpriced and small portions. So, without going too far into it, we ate like four different things that left us hungry. From there, we headed to the Ordway for Rent. It was well done, but definitely the weakest performance of the show that I’ve seen. The root of the problem was the American Idol guy that they jammed into the role of Collins. The guy had a good voice, just not one capable of playing that role. His range is too high to play Collins, and as a result he had to sing different notes. Rather than being able to smoothly fit with the music, the result was jarring. It’s my opinion that artists in these roles should be permitted a degree of liberty to make the part their own, but when the result ends up completely changing the melody of the song, that’s bad.

All in all Wednesday was good. Thursday was uneventful, for the most part. Our lovely daughter has decided that she is afraid of going to sleep, though. (This happens at her age). This resulted in a good amount of panicked screaming on her part, with Kerry and I in the living room trying to be quiet. Ugh. Kids are fun. She went to sleep eventually.

On Friday, Kerry and I had the day off and put Gwen in daycare. We went out for breakfast at the Good Day CafĂ© in St. Louis Park. Meh. The place is super busy all the time, and their food is good, but I just wasn’t in the mood for it. At noon, we picked the Gwenster up from daycare and hit the road for Bemidji.

My brother-in-law’s Groom’s Dinner was on Friday, and his wedding was on Saturday. Both were fun, although I had to leave the festivities early on both occasions, because lil’ Gwen was melting down by about 8:00 pm. She usually has a bedtime of 7:00, but we pushed her. My gift for being an usher was a set of polyhedral dice, in the wedding colors. AWESOME. After the Groom’s Dinner ended, Kerry came and relieved me. I went out to Bemidji’s Irish Pub, a place called Brigid’s Cross, and hung out with my brother-in-law Keith, Nick, Lars, and a host of others. It was fantastic to get out and hang out with those dudes.

The weather cooperated on the day of the wedding, and everything seemed to go without a hitch. My girls were radiant in their gorgeousness. As for my lil’ doll, she was a pretty pretty princess in a little yellow dress. (Pictures later, hopefully.) As for my wife, I must quote Atmosphere and say, “Every woman looks better in a sundress.” I might be biased, but when you’re talking about someone as pretty as my wife, that’s saying a lot. ;)

We're not gonna pay...we're not gonna pay...

Woohoo, tonight is another date night! Tonight, Kerry and I are going to see Rent for the third time. I’d say that we’re junkies, but that comes nowhere close to the lengths that some people go. A former boss of mine was seeing Rent for the 15th time when I ran into him on our first viewing. Interesting.

I am a bit of a sucker for Broadway musicals, though, I must admit. Especially Les Miserables. Yeah. I’ve seen that one seven times (if you count the Chanhassen Dinner Theater. I’ll call it six-and-a-half).

Tonight’s production is (groan) starring one of the finalists from American Idol. What’s even funnier (to me) is that it’s also starring someone from South African Idol. This is funny to me for a number of reasons. First, I had no idea that there was a South African version of the show. I don’t imagine many people DID know that, outside South Africa. (Hey, sorry! I’m not worldly, I guess.) Second, the show title sounds more like an Indiana Jones film.

The wife has been going to bed fairly early this past couple of days, so I’ve been left with not much to do. I’ve entered video game mode once again. I got bored with GTA, so I went back to the wonderful World of Warcraft. However, I usually don’t see anyone I know online, so I’ve also been playing a couple of console games. I decided to give Dragon Warrior VII another try (wow, this is a PS One game…old school) and it still bored the bajeezus out of me. So I decided to play Shadow of the Colossus again. I got a decent way through the game on my first play (I killed 11 colossi) but it’s been a LONG time since I played it.

I ended up starting over. The game is truly beautiful, though, and I’m excited to play it some more. Maybe after that I’ll actually finish Zelda.

Maybe not.

The celebration of my fatherhood!

As usual, summer is going way too fast. It always happens, though, and the best than can be done about it is to just enjoy every bit of it that you can. That’s my advice, anyway.

Before the weekend, I got to have a nice date with Kerry. We went to Thistles in Robbinsdale, which was quite good. It was amazing that in the five years we’ve lived in our house, we’ve never been to this restaurant. Kerry had some delicious tuna with wasabi, and I had chipotle pork, served with a wonderful sweet potato soufflĂ© and topped with apricot chutney. It was, for lack of better description, hella good. After that we made our way to Coldstone for delicious ice cream. Nom nom nom.
This weekend was fantastic. It started on Friday evening, with a full-on geek out, with another wonderful Dungeons and Dragons session. The excellent surprise was that my good friend John was able to come from Madison to play with us. The bad thing is that a trip that should have taken him like 3 hours took 7, because there were a ton of roads closed in WI. So, he had a hairy drive, but it was good to see him and hang out. We ended up staying awake until 2:00 am, playing D&D and drinking way way too much beer.

My darling daughter decided to get up at 6:00 am on Saturday morning, which meant 4 hours of sleep for me. Needless to say, I was a bit of a zombie that day, but I actually took a nap in the afternoon. That’s usually unheard of for me, but I needed it. Saturday night was pretty uneventful. Kerry and I just chilled out at home.

Sunday morning was Father’s day, and it was fantastic. My girls let me sleep in, and Kerry had baked muffins for me upon my waking. After spending a little time with them and sippin’ some coffee, I was off to play golf with the boys. I played fairly wretchedly, but it was a fantastic morning for golfing. I wound up with a peaceful feeling in my brain and a slight sunburn on my skin. I went out to lunch with the guys afterward at JJ’s Clubhouse, near the golf course. We conversed, drank beer, and had good food. It was funny, because all three of my golfing partners had been over on Friday night for D&D. Us nerds roam in packs.

After I went home, my parents and sister’s family came over for a delicious backyard barbecue. I cooked burgers and brats, and Kerry had prepared the rest of an awesome feast (including a cherry pie from scratch – she actually stemmed and pitted a bowl of cherries for this delectable bit of deliciousness). It was awesome to see my family. All in all, it was pretty much the best weekend ever.

No really...I just want to golf.

My golfing misadventures continued today, but the ending was happy (I got to golf).  It was a beautiful day, and nothing was going to stop me.  Getting there was a tad difficult, though.

I was talking with my friend Kristian over email yesterday, and we decided that it would be a fantastic idea to go golfing this evening.  Not much more was said about it, other than that we were gonna hit Cedarholm.

I got to work this morning, but didn't hear anything from Kristian.  I called Cedarholm and made a tee time for tonight.  (That was golf course phone call #1).  Then, with golf on the brain, I called Theodore Wirth G.C. to make a tee time for Sunday.  (G.C. phone call #2.)  They informed me that they and every other full-sized golf course in the Minneapolis area mandates 18 holes on weekends before 2:00 pm.  I quickly sent an email to my friends, which resulted in dreaded email blueballs.  Once my work email caught up and my friends started replying, the decision was made to hit the par 3 course.

I called Theo Wirth Par 3 course and asked if they had tee times available on Sunday.  (#3.)  They told me that it was first come/first served.  I didn't want to deal with that.  So, I called Brookview and got a tee time on their par 3 (call #4).  Huzzah.  Sunday morning is now taken care of (hopefully.)

I then got an email from Kristian, telling me that he was bailing on me tonight because he's sick.  I sent an email to Kerry, which said something like "ARRRGH ARRGH ARRRRGH!!!" and started checking if anyone else was interested in some short-notice golf.

Ryan was unavailable.

Reuben was, too.

Brian was also unavailable.

T-Rav couldn't swing it this evening, either.

"@#$% it," I said to myself.  "I'm going myself."  I really just wanted to golf.  But I didn't really feel like heading all the way to Roseville all by me onesie.  So I called Cedarholm and cancelled.  (call #5)  I then called to get a tee time at Centerbrook.  (Call #6)  An ancient, gravelly sounding man told me that they didn't do tee times for one person, just come on down.  So, I did.

Ancient and gravelly he was.  He rivaled the freaking knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  I was sent out to finally play my round of golf.  The kicker?  I had to play it with two cocky fresh-outta-college dudes.


Actually, they were nice once the beer cart came around.  (They didn't drink, I did.  It made them nice.)  Furthermore, I was heartened in that I played as well as them.  Either way, it was a nice night for golfing, and I finally got to play a round.  Now, hopefully, no one will get sick on Sunday.


There’s a pretty astounding thunderstorm taking place right at this very moment. It was as dark as night for a while there, and then this torrential rain came blasting out of the heavens. My dorkiness is proven yet again here, because two separate thoughts came to my head during this occurrence, and neither one was of my own safety or the threat of inclement weather. The first thought was, “SWEET! Free car wash!” The second, “Hmm, I wonder if this is the storm system that is really hiding an alien invasion.”

My previously expressed goal of losing poundage is off to a good start. I’ve been more conscious about what I eat, and have been getting exercise every night (mowing the lawn counts!). I’m going to have a problem tonight, though, due to certain amounts of Mountain Dew, Cheetos, beer and the like that are guaranteed to be consumed when my compatriots join me in my basement for…you guessed it…Dungeons and Dragons. HEY! Stop making fun of me. I’m fully aware of how jealous you are.

So the Jabberboard has had this ongoing series of topics started by yours truly, dedicated to cover songs. The gist is that someone comes up with a theme, and people cover songs according to that theme. The theme for the latest round was “reggae”. I think it’s absolutely hilarious to cover (read: bastardize) the songs that close personal friends have written. Therefore, I took it upon myself to cover a tune by Ryan’s one-man death metal band, Kathetor. The result was…

Freaking awesome.

I had so much fun recording it, I can’t even begin to explain. Prepare yourself for Manifest Retribution. If you’re into cool sounding metal with rad riffage, I encourage you to check out the original as well.

I just want to golf...

I haven’t exactly been impressed with the weather this summer. There have been occasions where it’s been beautiful (this past weekend, for example) but by and large it’s been full of suck. All I want to do is find some time to play some golf, and for whatever reason it’s just not happening. Here we are, another week, and rain in the forecast every single day. What is this, April? No, I’m afraid it’s June.

Aww crap, it’s already June! I’d forgotten how ridiculously quickly summer goes by. I know that I’m probably jumping the gun on comments like this – it is only the beginning of June, after all – but I know that the feeling is only going to grow as the summer continues, so I figure I’ll get my complaining started early. The upshot is that there’s only one year of school left for me, and then I’m free from school and free from the shackles of a dead-end job.

A good friend of mine, Amy Lundebrek, had her first book published. It’s all done and available for order, and I must say it’s fantastic. It’s a really cute story that points out that beautiful things can be found everywhere. It’s called “Under the Night Sky”, and it’s about going outside in the middle of the night to view the Northern Lights. You should pick up a copy, especially if you have kids. I’m not a book reviewer or a blurbist, so I’ll leave it at that. Ever since I’ve known Amy we’ve chatted about writing, and I’m proud of her for taking her passion and making something really beautiful out of it.

Other than that, it’s a pretty uneventful week so far. My coworker got a new job, so I’m stuck doing the work of two people (while, of course, only being paid for one person). It’s a hectic, frustrating, panic-attack-inducing situation that I would very much like to end. If anyone wants to work with me* (and by that I don’t mean for the same company or the same building, I mean literally in the very same office as me, in a chair that sits about ten feet away) feel free to apply for the job. It’s posted somewhere in the Star Trib, I think…

Since the forecast proves that the weather does not want me to golf, I’ll be spending the week with activities such as beer-bottling and D&D. (yes. I’m such a freaking dork). Should be awesome.

For those who like WoW, I wrote a song last night that’s full of win. Bask in the smooth harmonies of “Stranglethorn”.

*You don't. Trust me